Distracted!

"Do not wait; the time will never be "just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command..." ~Napolean Hill

This struck a chord with me today. This is something I am guilty of – waiting around for the ‘right time’ or the ‘best circumstances’ to do something or to change something about myself.

And it is a problem ...not just for me... but for ‘Church by the Sea’ as we wait for news from the General Trustees and from presbytery about our feasibility study (see here, here and and here). What do we do when it is hard to plan into the unknown? How do we move forward?

The danger is to say... “Once we know about the feasibility study... once the funding is in place... once the numbers improve...once the building is secured... THEN the time will be right”! The bigger challenge is to live in the moment... to use what is at hand... and to carry on God’s work regardless.

For me (as minister) it is really difficult to keep things in proper perspective and to concentrate on the day to day work of the parish... as everyone is looking to me for reassurance and for answers that I do not have.

For example... we had a congregational meeting on Sunday after the morning service to update people on what was happening (i.e. nothing much) and to lay to rest some of the wilder rumours circulating the parish!

In the event...the meeting (for which I had prepared a background report and position statement on behalf of the Congregational Board) was short and business like, but it was a distraction for me on a morning when we were also ordaining three new elders (a pleasurable task, but something I was doing for the very first time and which requires the Kirk Session to meet before the service).

I didn’t realise how distracted I had been from my usual Sunday morning routine (which nearly always involves me flicking through the service in the vestry and making notes about who is reading etc. before I go in) until I opened my folder at the beginning of the service (as I was reading the intimations) and realised that the service notes before me were the ones from a fortnight before!!

There was a moment of heart stopping panic... during which I continued reading the intimations!

And then my mind went into recovery mode (still reading the intimations) as I worked out how I was going to cope given that there was no chance of winging a service written and structured (1) for ordaining elders (there’s all that stuff about the Westminster Confession of Faith and formulae for a start) (2) as all age worship... (3) and to be concluded within 45 minutes to allow the congregation meeting to begin at 12pm!

Somehow I got to the end of the intimations (there were not that many so all this is happening in the space of like 2 minutes ... although to me it felt like 20) and I announce the first hymn (ironically ”Be Still for the Presence of the Lord”)! And while everyone was singing I sent the Church Officer into the Vestry for the spare large print version of the service (phew... never have I been so glad that I agreed to provide this) and the husband back to the manse for the folder I should have lifted (white NOT blue... long story)!!

Fortunately the congregation are used to me forgetting things from time to time... usually my radio mic... so no one even batted an eye lid (although the shrewd ones realised something was up)!

By the time I had done the reading and preached the sermon... the husband was safely back in his pew and my folder discretely passed up on to the chancel ready for the ordination bit!

Suffice to say I will never forget my first time of ordaining elders. But it showed me how easy it is to let issues like property become distractions ...absorbing time and energy and thought that should be channelled into preparing for and leading God’s people in worship.

So if anyone reading this is at a loose end and would like to volunteer to be my unpaid (sorry as well as having a crumbling building we are also flat broke) Property Project Manager (and general minder) ... you can make your applications on a postcard to the usual address!

Prayer for Friday...

Watch now, dear Lord,
with those who wake
Or watch or weep tonight
And give your angels charge
over those who sleep.

Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ,
rest your weary ones,
bless your dying ones,
Soothe your suffering ones,
pity your afflicted ones,
shield your joyous ones,
and all for your love's sake.

A prayer of St Augustine... and a fitting prayer for Friday at the end of a week of pastoral visiting...

Faith of the fools...

They are right,those who doubt what we do.
It is purely the product of over-active imaginations.

Who but the foolish would look at barren ground and imagine food for all,
see past desolation and believe it will become an oasis,
would not be stopped by war, but live for the day it will be peace,
and reach deep into the world’s fear in the prayer it would bring life.

So if faith is the terrain of the deluded
then may you leave here with the faith of the fools
who have loved the world since it’s beginning
and will live for its redemption until its end.

Today’s ‘floating’ header on Cheryl's blog (they change every time you click on the main link).

This resonated as these kinds of thoughts have been woven into my preaching over the last few weeks... faith and doubt... questions which have no answers in this life... faith and hope... making sense of this life (the joys and sorrows... the suffering and pain) and the life yet to come.

Jesus Christ ...bringing light into darkness and the promise of redemption for all creation.

Thoughts sparked by my preparation towards Remembrance Sunday... and by the promise and hope of Advent.

And on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month... with the world still rife with conflict... with the list of the fallen daily growing ever longer... who but the fool would "see past desolation and believe it will become an oasis...would not be stopped by war, but live for the day it will be peace"...

The woodpecker might have to go!

This came in an email this morning and it made me smile:

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah 's Ark ..

One : Don't miss the boat.

Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat.

Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

Four : Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

Six : Build your future on high ground.

Seven : For safety sake, travel in pairs.

Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

Nine : When you're stressed, float a while.

Ten : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Recreate

Take the clay of our lives and shape it to love
Take the clay of the church and shape it to grace
Take the clay of the world and shape it to peace
Take the clay of today and shape it to hope

And then breathe your spirit into all
again

For ever and ever
Amen

One of the 'revolving' headers on Cheryl's new look blog. My prayer for Friday.

Mistakes... revisited?

“Some people can be very compassionate to others but are exceptionally harsh with themselves.

One of the qualities that you can develop … is a sense of great compassion for yourself. When you visit the wounds within the temple of memory, you should not blame yourself for making mistakes that you greatly regret. Sometimes you have grown unexpectedly through these mistakes.

Frequently, in a journey of a soul, the most precious moments are the mistakes. They have brought you to a place that you would otherwise have avoided. You should bring a compassionate mindfulness to your mistakes and wounds.”

(John O’Donohue)

Wise words! But why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we find it easier to show compassion or to demonstrate forgiveness towards other people than to ourselves?

I have learned over the past few years that the things we regret... that we wish had never happened... are usually our best growing experiences.

I know people (and was one of them myself) who spend much of their lives avoiding situations or relationships where they might end up hurt or hurting others, but in doing this we miss out on so much that life can offer us... and so much that God can teach us.

Now I look back on the things I once regretted and I treasure those mistakes (even the ones that still have the power to make me squirm) as it was in those moments that I learned something about myself... and about other people... that I had never realised before.

And more than that... frequently I learn something about God that I had never understood before.

God does not revisit our past mistakes... he wipes the slate clean... it is only us humans who find it hard to let go of the past!

Autumn lives...

Autumn by Rainer Maria Rilke

The leaves fall, fall as if from far away,
like withered things from gardens deep in sky;
they fall with gestures of renunciation.

And through the night the heavy earth falls too,
down from the stars, into the loneliness.

And we all fall. This hand must fall.
Look everywhere: it is the lot of all.

Yet there is one who holds us as we fall
eternally in his hands' tenderness.

This poem really fits my mood this week after three funerals. It has been tiring and draining and very emotional as one of the deceased was only a few years older than me and the grief of his family really got to me.

In this week I understood (if I hadn't already) why sometimes ministers can seem a little distant or even aloof at funeral services... it is because of our compassion for the bereaved not from any lack of it.

I know for myself... I find it hard to make eye contact with the family - or to look at them when I am reading out personal tributes. I know if if do I will probably end up weeping with them!

At the second funeral the young daughters of the deceased had written their goodbyes to their Dad - their tribute was short and poignant - and I nearly didn't make it to the end. And I was glad of the music that came on after the tributes so I could sit and slowly breath in and out... before the prayer of thanksgiving and the committal itself.

There has been a lot written in the press and on blogs recently about funerals and about what is and isn't appropriate. The musical choices of bereaved families particularly have come in for a lot of criticism from clergy.

Personally I have no problem with "blended" services where families tell me what they would like and I blend their elements with mine to make a service which I hope and pray is meaningful and helpful to them as they grieve and begin to come to terms with the loss they have suffered.

Music is especially important to people and can usually be tied in to appropriate verses of scripture and echoed in prayers and words of tribute. "Blending" just takes a little imagination and compassionate listening to bereaved families.

And as ministers... we hold the key. We bring to a funeral service the words of hope and of life eternal. We can blend ... as Rilke does... the inevitability of our mortality ... of death and decay... with glorious hope for eternity:

"And we all fall. This hand must fall.
Look everywhere: it is the lot of all.

Yet there is one who holds us as we fall
eternally in his hands' tenderness".

Photo is 'fallen' by Jonny Baker on Flickr